When I first thought of leaving the family home and moving into a separate house, I was an adult earning man with no anti-social or criminal record, yet the obstacles were all around me. The first was my own house, then the landlords. Knowing my identity and profession from my conversations, they had no doubts about my safety, but almost everyone was worried about what if I had fun alone in a house with various girls? This fear was also number one among my family and relatives, although the reason for moving into a separate house was not at all women or fun because I had girl friends before that and I did not feel any lack of opportunities to spend time with them.
I remember a judge in Uttara, he had a very beautiful house, the landlord was also happy with the conversation, then he became scared and worried when he heard that I was single. Then the question came to my mind, how does he judge in court? I was very surprised that when all these married and elderly men and women saw a lonely young man wanting to be apart, 95% of them thought that the goal was to have fun with girls. But at that time, I wanted to be apart from the family home just to stay away from the small daily conflicts with my somewhat modern way of living alone and the traditional family. As if the family members did not have to bear any burden or difficulty for me. Now I understand that what was in those elderly married men and women was sexual jealousy or jealousy or a reflection of the problems in their own lives. These jealousy or jealousy are the result of the shameful inferiority and shallowness that the people around us are immersed in in their daily lives.
Sometimes I have had a close or love relationship with a girl in the circle of friends that I mix with. I sometimes leave my girlfriend in the same room with a friend and go out for the whole day. I have never had a single doubt in my mind. One such long-time friend of mine has been alone with a girlfriend of mine for years, at work, and in social gatherings without me. When that friend fell in love with his female colleague and married her, he invited me to his new home. When I went there, I saw that the new wife had cooked various types of pola and korma. It was very sunny outside that day. I was a little tired. When we were about to sit down to eat, his wife called my friend and said that there was something missing in the house, I should bring it. My friend said that she would bring it right away. Then she dressed up and came to me. Then she told me to go with her. Even though I did not want to, she did not leave the house without taking me. I was very surprised because my friend's wife is not someone new and I have known her for a long time. Later, I realized that the one who does not trust her, even if you trust her a lot, she cannot reciprocate.
When I first lived in a separate house, I didn't have any female friends at my house, but sometimes my friends' wives would come to dinner and sometimes they would stay the night. One such junior friend was at my house with his wife, both of whom I loved dearly. The next morning, during breakfast, it turned out that he couldn't eat the breakfast I eat - cornflakes or muesli - because he was allergic to them. I said I was in a hurry. There were eggs and butter in the fridge, but no bread. There was a shop in front of the house, you can bring some and eat. The boy didn't go out and called the girl. Then he took the girl with him and went to get bread. This time I wasn't surprised anymore because I know why people do these things, but that affection for him was gone. Later, I learned that this boy used to sexually abuse one of his younger sisters. Even among those who are polite and talented, this suspicion and meanness seems to have no end. The friend's mother suspected her son's wife. The girlfriend suspected her mother, the friend felt insecure about her mother.
In fact, these lowliness, low suspicion and distrust do not come from any reason or incident, they are mostly internal problems of the person. Those whose lives are made up of disappointment, failure, lowliness and negative emotions, whose innermost core of their psyche, are the slaves of this shameful wretchedness. Those whose lives are neat and tidy, who have acquired various skills and achievements, try in vain to fill that void.
To stay away from these lowliness, lowliness and shameful wretchedness, I have left many things in my short life. I have left loved ones who were like breathing. I have left close friendships in whom I believed with my life. I have left the school where knowledge and education were the most joyful things for me. The reason for leaving is that almost all our teachers are immersed in lowliness, lowliness and shameful wretchedness. I have left profitable businesses because day by day they are becoming a hell of meanness and depravity. I have left the writers' society, newspapers, and cultural world, which were once free and pure, now they are the arena of meanness and depravity. The more vindictive, uneducated, emotional, and capable of awakening meanness and depravity in people, the greater they are there now. Even with this leaving, there is no end to the meanness, depravity, and scoundrelism. Let everyone see this leaving as my failure. Do they know why I am leaving? I have the courage, the strength, and the self-respect that is why I am leaving.
My beloved Russian writer, the poet Anton Chekhov, has written the most about this meanness. Maxim Gorky said of Chekhov: "No one has captured the subtle tragedy of life so beautifully as Anton Pavlovich. No one has ever portrayed so cruelly the pathetic picture of the shameful ugliness that pervades people's daily lives. His enemy was meanness. He fought against it all his life, mocked it. He painted its picture with sharp pens, and even in the midst of everything that was neat and tidy, he could find a shadow of meanness."
Those who, knowingly or unknowingly, are immersed in meanness and shameful ugliness can never unite in principles and ideals. Because they do not have the mental world in their heads to give birth to principles and ideals. That is why they always look at principles and ideals with suspicion. They think that these are someone's political moves. When their own privileges and security are disrupted, they are united only by the emotion of fear and then claim a utopian purity that is unrealistic.
In the book The Yellow Monster's Homeland, Maxim Gorky said in 1906, "A crowd united by emotion only feels, only sees. But it cannot give form to the impression that is made on its mind. Its soul is mute, its heart is blind."
Surprisingly, modern social psychology and neuroscience say the same thing. Our brain is divided into three functions; one is the reptilian function, then the emotional function (limbic function), and finally the human thought process function (neo-cortex). The human thought function of those who are always dominated by security fear and emotion is immature and chaotic.
When I present my analyses on various socio-political or social psychological issues, many people from near and far try to humiliate me by labeling me politically without understanding what I am saying. In doing this, they reveal their vile baseness. They cannot imagine that even if the partisanship equation in which they are reaching a conclusion about a person is a necessary path for them, the path of thought of an analyst may be different. Many people, unable to understand logical analysis, ask which side I am on.
When I write openly about women, many people think that I am a misogynist, a critic, and I write to belittle women. Many others think the opposite, that I am a single man who hangs out with women. In fact, I see Chekhov's shameful baseness in people. It is more visible in women, for example, when women are drunk, it is more visible, because we always want to respect them.
If we cannot get out of this vileness and shameful baseness, not only a person's life but the entire society becomes insecure. An example of this is the end of Anton Pavlovich Chekhov. Even in the well-organized and beautiful life of a city educated man, who could find a shadow of meanness, that meanness cunningly took revenge on him in the end. The body of a writer, a poet, Anton Chekhov was transported to Moscow in a freight car of oysters. Gorky wrote, “It seems to me that that dirty green oyster wagon is a triumph of meanness over a tired enemy. And the hypocritical mourning of countless memoirs on paper... Behind all this, I feel the cold stench of the same meanness, which rejoices in the death of the enemy.”
Chekhov was sure that a deeply unhappy mind is the cause of those lowliness and shameful ugliness. So he wrote:
"Deeply unhappy people are arrogant, mean, inconsiderate, cruel and less able to understand each other than the stupid. Unhappiness does not bring unity among people, but divides them...."
Today, 150 years after Chekhov's time, our society is also deeply unhappy and we are trying our best to cover up those lowliness and shameful ugliness by showing off the power of money, position and power, but it is never possible. To cover them up, the government is becoming a state, the police are relying on military repression and oppression. Prison fines, death penalty, disappearances and murders are increasing exponentially. This policy of repression and oppression of the government and the state will make society even more deeply unhappy. It will make it afraid, anxious, and terrified. To get out of those lowliness and shameful ugliness, everyone needs to be happier. Not addicted to money, position, power and development. To be happy, we need a free, independent, tolerant society, state, and family. We are rapidly moving in the opposite direction because, under the guise of money, power, religion, and development, we are gradually becoming a deeply unhappy nation day by day.
Sirazul
No comments:
Post a Comment