Where even if you buy a phone for lakhs of taka and use it for two months, you don't like it, there you won't like living with a girl for the rest of your life—that's normal."
Any girl would probably be shocked to hear such words from her husband on the first night of marriage. But nothing like that happened to me. Arif (my husband) spoke the truth. Since I am a realistic girl, I really liked this realistic word of Arif.
Not only that, on the first night of marriage, my husband also said,
— "I cannot be asked any questions about where I am doing or not doing, who called me or not, whether I went to a girl-friend's house or not—these things. My phone-laptop will always be away. Don't even think about touching it with bare hands. These are personal things. Just because I got married doesn't mean I will give you my privacy."
I yawned and said,
— "I will remember everything you said. If you had turned off the lights now, I would have gone to sleep. If you want to come closer without turning off the lights, you can come—even if it's a thousand, it's the night of the wedding."
My husband's face turned as if he was a Bengali man after hearing my words. He probably didn't expect me to take his tough words so easily...
The incident happened about three months after our wedding. We were all eating together at night. At that time, I said to my mother-in-law,
— "Shabnur Apa, should I give you fish curry or meat?"
Everyone's eyes widened when I heard my words. My mother-in-law said, "Mother-in-law, why are you calling me Shabnur Apa?"
I smiled and said,
— "Actually, I was getting bored of calling you mother. I didn't feel like calling you anymore. Where even if you buy a phone for lakhs of taka, you don't like it after two months, I've called you mother for three months—that's a lot. If calling you Shabnur Apa is boring, then I will call you Purnima Apa, Moushumi Apa or Apu Biswas-Bubli or something else—so that it is not boring."
After hearing my words, my mother-in-law became mute. No words were coming out of her mouth. My father-in-law's condition was even worse—it seemed like food was stuck in his throat, not going down.
I looked at my father-in-law and said,
— "Shakib Khan, it seems like food is stuck in your throat. Drink some water. It was boring to call you 'father' too. So I thought, I will call you Shakib Khan from today. If this name also feels boring, I will call you Zayed Khan, Hero Alam—something else."
Seeing all this, my husband grabbed my hand and dragged me to the room and got very angry and said,
— "Are you doing injustice to my parents? You will call my mother Apu Biswas and my father Hero Alam! What does all this mean?"
I said with a smile,
— "Am I being sarcastic, or are you? On the first night of marriage, you said, 'Even if you buy a phone for a lakh rupees, you won't like it after two months, you won't like living with a girl there for the rest of your life—that's normal. Comparing your married wife to a phone is nothing but sarcasm. If you don't like calling someone else 'dad' whom you have called 'dad' all your life, why don't you call someone else 'abba'?"
My husband lowered his head after hearing me and remained silent. I went to another room without saying anything else…
.
.
That night, in the middle of the night, my husband started having severe stomach pain. He kept making a lot of ahh and uhh sounds. I whispered in my husband's ear,
— "Scream like 'dad', 'mom'. Even then, don't make such noises. Such noises from a man's mouth are very obscene. People around will think something wrong."
My husband got angry and said,
— "Don't be a fool and call the doctor immediately!"
— "I don't have money on my phone."
— "Give me my phone."
I was surprised to hear this and said,
— "I don't have surgical hand gloves. Won't you get a shock if I touch your phone with my bare hands? Well, let me do one thing—get some kitchen hand gloves from the kitchen."
Say this and I ran and got gloves from the kitchen. But the touchscreen of the phone wasn't working because I was wearing gloves.
My husband then said,
— "For God's sake, take off your gloves!"
I said,
— "Not possible. On the first night of our marriage, you told me not to touch your phone with my bare hands. What if I touch it with my bare hands and get shocked to death? My own safety comes first..."
My husband screamed and screamed,
— "Forgive me this time. There will be no privacy between husband and wife. From today on, my phone will be your phone. Who sent SMS to my phone, who called me—you see everything. At least call the doctor this time!"
.
My father, in-laws, me and my husband are all sitting in the drawing room. At that time, my father said to my in-laws,
— "Beyinsab, I came to take my daughter. Actually, the boys will come to see my daughter next Sunday."
Hearing this, my in-laws were surprised and said,
— "You mean to see your daughter! You have only one daughter, who is currently my son's wife."
My father then said in a light voice,
— "Actually, Beyinsab, where even if you buy a phone for lakhs of taka, you don't like it after two months, you won't like living with one boy for the rest of your life—that's normal. My daughter doesn't like living with your son. So I will get married somewhere else."
Before my in-laws could say anything, my husband grabbed my father's hand and said,
— "Father, I have made a big mistake. Next time I will never say such nonsense to your daughter. Your daughter has taught me a real lesson. You will not teach me again..."
Seeing my husband's condition, my father looked at me. I made a gesture to explain to my father—I will forgive my poor husband this time.
