Even in the 90s, we knew who lived in the apartment next door, when we went to the market, we would chat with strangers, when we sat in a boat, the boatman and the passenger would talk without knowing each other's names, at wedding invitations, mothers and aunts would chat with many non-relatives, iftar would come from a neighbor's house five or six houses away, guests would come to the house every Friday for no reason, and pola was also cooked. Now, guests don't come for no reason. For guests to come, a "reason" is needed.
That doesn't happen anymore. Two people travel side by side on buses from Dhaka to Cox's Bazar for 13 hours. Yet they don't exchange a single word with each other. If someone tries to do so, people consider them rude. Of course, there is also a reason for taste and security behind that idea.
Mentally, if a rickshaw puller uncle living in the 90s starts chatting with a passenger, it seems annoying to the passenger.
It is acceptable. Because class does not match with the rickshaw puller uncle. The topics of interest do not match. There is no way to not admit that there are class differences in society. But even where class and caste do match, we have created a cage called a social bubble. Otherwise, at least while traveling in the same university bus or while laying out a sheet on the floor of a launch in Barisal, people would have talked more.
Social media became popular towards the end of globalization. The reality that we had for the last 300,000 years - that we had to love, be friends, and do business only with people within 5 kilometers of ourselves - was proven false. Different terms called virtual friends and long-distance relationships were born.
For the first time in 300,000 years, globalization was open to the common man. At that time, even if he was a Nepali, he could befriend a Dalichako from Tanzania, and Figano Batista from Argentina could talk to a Zarina from Bangladesh. This opportunity was supposed to open the door to a crore of cultural, economic, political, and technological possibilities (exchange). Something has happened. Between 2012 and 2016, Bangladeshis' Facebooks were filled with Filipinos, Indonesians, Indians, Brazilians, and Americans. That trend is no longer there. Those who live in Dhaka now have Filipinos in their friend list, and it is difficult to find anyone from Kurigram. This change began around 2017.
The era of globalization is over.
Not accepting friend requests if you don't know them is a very Western, or rather, a South American way of thinking. Where it is legal to shoot someone dead with a shotgun if you accidentally enter their home. This idea of personal space, the practice of individualism has spread from the United States to Europe and has come to us in less than 10 years. Yet we are plagued.
Angel Sadia, who was online with hundreds of strangers in 2014, now replies to a message request with 'Do I know you?' (I am not saying that this trend has increased only among girls. I have seen in my personal survey that boys are more antisocial than girls. Unless love and sex are the reasons, unless the messenger is a woman - boys generally do not respond to message requests.) Compared to the 90s, the tendency of both men and women to not talk to strangers has increased several times.
Social Babbol culture blocks socio-cultural exchange. A new person is as interesting, potential, cognitively important object as a new tourist spot or an unread novel (!)
The three main reasons for human excellence are -
- new places,
- new books and
- new people.
After the end of globalization, people are abandoning the last of these three. They want to be alone.
I am not saying that the rising divorce rate, the fact that guests are sleeping in your child's bedroom without actually meeting them, the breakup of single-parent families, or the fact that instead of a friend circle of 15 in the 90s, now there are 2-3 or in many cases only 1 friend circle, is a serious problem.
I am saying that these divorces, family breakups, lack of guests and the decrease in the number of friends means that our patience has become very thin. We no longer want trouble, we don't want other people's opinions. We want to live alone and independently. And in doing so, the free opportunities we used to have to learn and receive from others, which is called socialization, have closed. The biggest school of our lives has closed.
In the West, they have called it the loneliness epidemic.
The MTF under the US Department of Health collected data on loneliness from 1991 to 2023. In 1992, 28% of people thought they were lonely. In 2005-06, this loneliness suddenly dropped to 21%. Then in 2007-08, this index suddenly rose again to 26.
Because Facebook was launched in 2005 and the iPhone in 2007. Facebook promoted relationships between everyone in 2005. The iPhone promoted individualism among everyone. Now, of course, Facebook is doing the same. In 2023, this loneliness rate has reached 41%. In the history of mankind, they now feel more alone than at any time. Japan and Poland say that the loneliness epidemic has started to destroy their economies.
I have found the closest friends, lovers, teachers, business partners, mentors in my personal life online. These strangers are now my best friends. In other words, these strangers are responsible for my current relationships, my business, my education. Without new strangers, I will not develop anew. I will be more or less the same tomorrow as I am today.
There is a concept called class knowledge. If there are no strangers in your life, you have no chance of overcoming class knowledge. You will not overcome this class by reading books or traveling or getting a job. Only by wandering among the class strangers of slums and palaces will you acquire the ability to survive in slums and palaces everywhere. You can take this day closer to that day.
People do not eat all foods. They eat selectively. People will not read all books, they will read according to their taste. People will therefore choose which strangers they will mix with. They will not mix with everyone. But like the continuous habit of reading books - it is important to continue the journey of knowing the experience of new people. Because every person has great potential. If you deprive yourself of that potential, of his life experience, the speed of the overall society slows down. There are no riots in a village where Hindus and Muslims mix freely. A senior who allows his junior to address him as 'tumi' never gets involved in ragging.
Following the United States (Americans whose lives are nothing but office and family. Who have 17-25 friends on Facebook).
Forcing a traditionally extroverted nation like Bangladesh, a colorful nation, to make it black and white means strangling social harmony. Making yourself a frog in a well.
Atul Prasad Sen used to worship the new.
He sang,
"Today, new light, new pool,
Give us the new light,
Give us the new world,
Fill us with new laughter,
Fill us with new despair,
Fill us with life and death."
Collected
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