Why can't marriage be a liberation instead of a captivity?

 

Men marry in their parents' houses and take wives, even today. Men do not want to become adults. They want to spend their entire lives as children in their parents' laps. The father, mother, brothers and sisters take care of the man who has grown up, and then the bride joins in. Another servant. Even today, most of our men are unable to take responsibility for themselves like adults. The bride struggles in a completely new environment. She has to live in the hearts of everyone, otherwise people will call her evil. Girls have to completely sacrifice their individuality and independence to live in their in-laws' house. I know that hundreds of girls will come and say how good their in-laws are, that they did not have to sacrifice their freedom at all. But the point is, why does a girl have to live with her husband's relatives, when a husband is not asked to live with his daughter's relatives and live in the hearts of everyone! When a girl gets married, she has to leave her relatives, friends, neighborhood, familiar surroundings, and familiar area and take shelter in her husband's house. When a man gets married, he doesn't have to leave anything. There needs to be a limit to inequality. Marriage crosses all limits.

A man in Assam wants to divorce his wife because she doesn't want to live in her in-laws' house. This is the reason for the man to divorce. If the wife doesn't want to live with anyone other than her husband, then adult men start a separate family with their wives, but children in the lap of their parents insist on living with their parents, they have no objection to leaving their wives. Are our men only children in the lap of their parents? They trick and trick their wives into becoming children in their laps. From their wives to take care of their shoes and socks - that's what they want.

The useless man in Assam has no desire to become an adult and responsible man. Hence the divorce. The judge noticed that the man's wife did not wear conch shell and vermilion. Not wearing conch shell vermilion means that the wife does not want to consider herself married, the judge made such a comment. If two people do not want to live together, if there is no love left between the two, if either of them decides to divorce after thinking about it, the divorce should be completed without any problem. That is what happened.

There is no objection to divorce. But objections are being heard regarding the judge's comment. A married girl means conch shell vermilion! On the other hand, a married man means an unmarried man. No one can tell by looking at a man whether he is married or not. Married and unmarried men look the same. Married men do not have to carry any sign of marriage on their bodies morning and evening. They do not have to wear conch shell vermilion. Hmm, there should be a limit to inequality. We know that there is no limit. I am saying, if girls, even girls who love their husbands, do not want to wear conch shell vermilion? Then surely they should have the freedom not to wear it? Why can't marriage be a liberation instead of a captivity?

In Europe and America, married Christian and Jewish men and women both wear wedding rings on their ring fingers. That is the sign of their marriage. If a couple does not want to wear a ring, they do not wear it. People of all religions should have this freedom. Not only Muslim men, but Muslim girls do not have to wear any sign of marriage, which is a good thing. But just because they do not have to wear the sign of marriage, it does not mean that Muslim girls enjoy more freedom than girls of other religions. Muslim girls are also victims of the same patriarchal society. Marriage is becoming increasingly unnecessary day by day. The system called marriage was started to legally legalize the master-slave relationship. It started because girls were considered weak, dependent, because girls were considered only as vaginas and uteruses. It started to claim ownership of girls' bodies. Each of those reasons is now useless. A girl who is not weak, a girl who is self-reliant, a girl whose identity is not her vagina and uterus, a girl who believes in her freedom and rights, a girl who does not accept the master-slave relationship, believes in equality and equal rights, why would that girl get married? Marriage is necessary for some men who are sucking their thumbs in the desire to be their lap children.

No adult, educated, conscious woman or man with sense and intelligence needs marriage. May the world be filled with sense and intelligence, and may the extravagance called marriage be stopped.

Taslima Nasrin